Today’s most popular and most cost-effective talking therapies (i.e., CBT, DBT, psychoanalytic approaches) too often focus on the individual only. However, no man is an island. We live embedded in family systems and broader environments that, to an extent, influence and shape our psyche and physical and mental wellbeing all throughout our lives. As developmental psychologists emphasise, it is the early years in which we are influenced the most by external factors as humans. Indeed, there is very little we can do to influence our environment when we are newborns, infants and toddlers (and onwards).
Today’s most common mental health diagnoses are depression and anxiety. However, what if our lives and environments do not necessarily indicate that there is anything to be anxious or depressed about? On the contrary, we live in relative comfort compared to previous generations. We can travel, instantly access information, watch any movie/TV show with a couple of clicks, connect with people across the globe… yet, we are more anxious and depressed than ever.
What if the anxiety or depression is not really “yours”? I know it sounds strange, but bear with me. Have you heard about epigenetics, and how we inherit not only the DNA sequence itself, but also chemical marks on our DNA that influence how genes are expressed, shaped by the experiences of previous generations? Research suggests that trauma and chronic stress can leave traces that affect how the nervous system and stress response are wired in descendants – not passing on specific memories or emotions, but a heightened sensitivity, a readiness for threat, a vulnerability to anxiety or low mood. Maybe today you’d like to start digging further down the family tree. Who has been through traumatic life events in your family? Who was the black sheep of the family, and why – and is there any possibility they were actually the scapegoat? Why do you keep getting into the same situations, meeting the same type of people, and dealing with the same recurring problems? Maybe that’s why. Maybe something needs to be uncovered so that it all finally makes sense.
We are not pure individuals. We are a product of our genes, our families, our environment, our histories that were shaping us long before we were born. And living our lives, we are embedded in nets of social relationships, connections, meanings, archetypes, histories, similarities, differences… our neurobiological design enables us to mirror others’ feelings – both happiness and suffering. It also enables us to mirror what deeply resonates with us – today often labelled “trauma bonding”. What if your diagnosis is not fully yours? Crazy, I know!
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